When I say “please don’t take a picture of me” it’s not because I’m being bitchy and stubborn, it’s because if I see that picture I will seriously feel so bad about myself and think I am the ugliest thing on earth and sink a little deeper into self consciousness and hatred.
and before anyone says anything about selfies- those are controlled photos.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS WILL GET THE FOLLOWING IN THEIR INBOX.
- A BRIEF ORIGIN STORY
- A SUPERPOWER OR THREE, MAYBE FOUR DEPENDING
- A SUPERHERO OR VILLAIN NAME
- YOU MIGHT ALSO GET AN ARCHNEMESIS WHO HAS REBLOGGED THIS ALREADY
AND YES I MEAN EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS. UNTIL, SAY, AUGUST 2015. A FULL YEAR. LONG ENOUGH, RIGHT?
LET’S DO THIS THING.
when boys have sleepovers do they sleep in the same bed like girls do or do the rules of no homo include sharing beds
girls always share beds. and covers and clothes and food and personal space. sometimes even bathrooms
Girls share everything.
guys share beds. although we sleep head to toe. instead of head to head.
But then you get the others feet in your face
- (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
- Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
- Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
- Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
- Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
- Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
- (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
- Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
- (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
- Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
- Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
- Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
- (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
- Future Child: Dad, I think I'm in love.
- Me: Well like us old tumblr users used to say, "bitch I might be".
- Future Child: Dad how is that even relevant
- Me: Do he got the booty my child.
- Future Child: ...what
- Me: Child. Do he got da booty.
- Future Child: *sighs heavily* He doooooo.
- Me: Then I ship it, my child.
aries: fearless as hell
taurus: reliable as hell
gemini: talkative as hell
cancer: dependable as hell
leo: powerful as hell
virgo: smart as hell
libra: friendly as hell
scorpio: strong as hell
sagittarius: real as hell
capricorn: loyal as hell
aquarius: weird as hell
pisces: nice as hell
I don’t think you guys understand how much I love fanfiction cliches in my smut. I love them so much. I could read a hundred stories where two characters get locked in a small space or have to share body heat or get caught in a rainstorm and have to take off wet clothes. I’m being completely genuine when I say that I live for smut fanfiction cliches.
did someone say cheesy smut plot